I am a simple woman with a grand love of the world. I am transitioning but will always be a work in progress. My faults are many, for I am human. My achievements are mighty because God created and instilled me with purpose. I am given hurdles and challenged to jump higher each day. Sometimes my mind gets too weak and can't order my legs to lift, so He sends Angels to carry me over until I'm strengthened to take the next leap on my own. The power and depth of my love is immeasurable and if you have it from me it will always remain. Welcome or rebuke it, is your individual choice. Even through pain, hurt and disappointment, it shall not be moved but forever changed.
When looking towards the ocean we know we have to experience the beach first. Yet we won't know how brittle or plush and soft the sand is until we walk upon it. I've traveled to many sands and oceans, each giving me a sturdier footing. Sadly some beaches will not remember me, as I am no longer the girl who walked blindly barefoot on their grains. Sometimes noticing, sometimes not, that my feet have been braised and bruised, but to worry is to fear and I know the ocean is near to revive them. I want to live like the waves, moving, rising, breaking, crashing, rising again but never the same, always new when I reunite with land.
For those who live in my love, they are blessed because I will it so. My spirit is not contained and yearns to travel and will meet you in any corner of the Universe. It is always with you because God willed it so. It is within me to feel the source of all and I do not take such precious gifts for token. Although it may be weakening to take on so much, I do it with a feverish passion and relish in the comfort of gratitude that I am able. To give without expectation is stupefying to many, as we are taught to value reward. The Gold Medal is in the gift itself and does not need to be thanked. It will exist throughout eternity, never once questioning its purpose and continuously researching ways to spread it effectively.
At times my love, as all love, can be given for selfish reasons and I am ashamed. I can't always hear myself but the soul inside, who knows me best is always on my side. I drowned her voice by putting too much Heavy Metal Rock on my Reggae playlist. Finally, as the songs of the Gospel start to reach me, my ears are becoming unclogged to hear that voice which is mine. Yet and still, I've got that metal ringing in my head, so I struggle to catch words and formulate sentences. Still something is off until I figure out that I'm speaking in languages unfamiliar and must become multilingual in order to receive my own messages. It is within these moments I realize I have so much more to learn before I journey forth. As I continue, I promise myself to be a faithful and studious pupil. My devotion to the study will build my class of students who are also boundless in their achievements. We are all teachers and students in this room. We compete and challenge with the goal to uplift each other to strive beyond their mindful possibilities. The more advanced will know it is not possible for all to learn but do not give up on teaching and are even more strengthened from the lesson. The less advanced become discouraged and struggle in the lesson. But the class rallies, lifts them off their knees, sets them on a running path and watches them soar higher.
My life, love, soul and spirit will not be remembered in the dirt, among the dry patches of grass and weeds. It doesn't need to be remembered nor reminded. You can feel it when you close your eyes in the rays of the sun. You can hear it in musical vibrations that come through as base drum beats so you can feel the pulse of my heart. You will be touched by my kiss in a breeze and know I am forever present and still evolving. My Being is like Mother Earth, constantly moving and ever existing.